The Cowboy takes a shot, then says "my horse got loose, ran into traffic, and got hit by a semi truck carrying gasoline. When two trucks loaded with a thousand copies of Roget's Thesaurus collide, the witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast and much more. Related terms for 'horse trailer': 18-wheeler, 4×4, 4WD, all-terrain vehicle, ambulance, ATV, breakdown truck, bus, camper, camper van, caravan 7. And to make it stop yell 'Hallelujah'". Get off your high horse. GAMES BROWSE THESAURUS WORD OF THE DAY WORDS AT PLAY. After 5 hours the results are out. Horse Jokes Laugh yourself horse with these funny jokes from the farm... Hay you! Why the floppy head?!". I knew it wouldn't last furlong. The funniest sub on reddit. Cow. "Holy mooses, you're right", The pastor explains to him "to make the horse go yell 'Thank God!' "It's like a horse, but with stripes." It's like beating a dead horse and i don't want to give him anymore video ideas. He’s double-checked everywhere, but he just can’t find it. Now, admittedly, this joke only makes sense if you are familiar with the French Enlightenment philosopher, Rene Descartes, who famously said, "I think, therefore I am." "Nothing like one.". The horse opens his wallet, pays and start drinking. The bartender says, you're in here a lot, are you an alcoholic? A horse walks into a bar and says to the barman "5 whiskeys please!" Before the race starts, he brunette turns to the blonde and says "I'll bet you fifty dollars the black horse wins." I've never seen a talking horse! SINCE 1828. The horse replies "I think not," a promptly disappears. The horse replies, "My alcoholism is destroying my family.". That was clever! SINCE 1828. The blonde says "OK, you're on!" A horse walks into a woman. To which the horse replies: really loudly in the horse's ear. It was easy to understand why the horse went so lame early, he was out of the gait first. Bill got on the horse and said, "Praise the Lord!" The lady later makes it home and tells her husband about the event. Pony: Yeah *ahem* I'm a little horse. My problem with it has to do with my being an excellent speller. A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Thesaurus' crashed on the highway last Thursday. 2. Following the discovery of horse DNA in burgers sold in Britain’s largest supermarkets, we take a look at the best jokes doing the rounds on the internet: 1. Me: Did you steal my thesaurus. they ask. A horse might be able to talk, but this joke is too much of a stretch. Horse Jokes; Rabbit Jokes; Back to Jokes. 89,687 talking about this. 3 sheep. Think you might be an alcoholic? He bet $5555.55 on the horse. A man playing on a new golf course got confused as to what hole he was on. How to use high horse in a sentence. cop says the reflector is busted… and he didn't like the emergency brake neither, "Look at all of these beautiful horse" Horse: Nope. The barman looks at the horse and says "That's quite a stomach you've got, are you an alcoholic?" That's the one!" This site uses cookies to personalize ads and to analyse web traffic, for more info please review our Privacy Policy. Hundreds of jokes posted each day, and some of them aren't even reposts! GAMES BROWSE THESAURUS WORD … Sure enough the horse comes in fifth. On nom nom. His lucky number was, not surprisingly, 5. The first one says "I sew 2 fingers that were cut off back on a guys hand, and I did it so well that he still became a famous pianist". Jung Lu me a poem once. share. His daughter loves reading … He searches all over his house for it. My wife and child left me due to my horse racing addiction. Duck. Where you left him. You can explore horse paso reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Thesaurus Collision | Clean Jokes | Entertainment Two trucks loaded with a thousand copies of Roget's Thesaurus collided as they left a New York publishing house last Thursday, according to the Associated Press. Fed up with searching, he decides to ask his family members. The cop chuckles and replies, "He sure did!" "Yeah." "It's just, incredible! Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts . ", Thor is riding on the back of his mighty war horse. The bartender looks confused but pours him a cold one: Pony: I'll *ahem* have a *cough cough* beer. I asked my horse if he stole my thesaurus. A farmer comes to the door and the man tells him what just happened. *poof* "Yes! Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. The cowboy responded, 7.3k Views. Just say 'Praise the Lord!' And orders a beer. Then I realized I was just beating a dead horse. Equine humor~ Are they short on electricians?". Because after she dies it'll be like beating a dead horse... What do you do when you are riding a horse, and you look to the left and see a running lion, and you look to the right and see a running giraffe? he said again, and the horse began to trot. 1. Post navigation. I got it after reading comments... at least I didn't have to go as far as a comment that totally explained it! The bartender then says "You know, you're in here pretty often. See, this was a joke about Descartes' famous line from philosophy: "I think, therefore I am." Thank God!". In order to make the horse go, you say, “Thank God,” and for it to stop you say, “Amen.” So the man left, and a few minutes later he dozed off on his horse. Leave a Reply Cancel … So when the horse said "I think not," then he could no longer be. 2 sheep. Bill shouted "AMEN!" ", Adam began to invent names, Lion, Tiger, Horse, Cow, Pig… What are synonyms for horse laugh? Quiz Review. ", John, a rural farmer, decided to visit the zoo in the capital with his family. You must be ready for a sick joke! To help him, he hired a Native American scout. "Like a horse, but big and fat." Horse Profile: Kauto Star » Comments are closed. "Hello Mr Programmer", the donkey said, "how are you?". The horse disappears. Don't shut the stable door after the horse has bolted. Here are 175 really bad jokes, ranging from terrible puns and horrible one-liners to cringe- and groan-worthy jokes that are so bad they're good. Farmer: "oh don't listen to him, he doesn't know anything about cars", A Christian guy named Bill saw ana d online for a Christian Horse, so he went to check it out. He wipes his sweat off and says "Phew! Homework Animals Math History Biography Money and Finance Biography Artists Civil Rights Leaders Entrepreneurs Explorers Inventors and Scientists Women Leaders World Leaders US Presidents US History Native Americans Colonial America American Revolution Industrial Revolution American Civil War Westward Expansion … And an app vote from me. The child replied, "Then why did you call it a horse? Why?'' "If the thief does not admit i will do what my father did when his horse got stolen" Before he left, the priest told him that it was a special horse. When he exited the saloon, he found his horse missing Horse and cart. We're the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse. the HTML dev asked. 4. ", All three sit at the bar and begin drinking heavily, clearly distressed. A man needed a horse, so he went to a temple and got one. sail . There was a man who was born on the fifth day of the fifth month of 1955, whose lucky number was five. If not, I'll do what I did back in Texas." This is where philosophy students start to snicker, as they are familiar with Descartes postulate, I think, therefore I am. "I had to walk home." A sixth grade teacher asks her class how many were Trump fans. -. A Man Loses His Thesaurus. There's your joke. ", "I went home last night, and what did I find under the bed? "Because," replies the third man, "I went home last night, and what did I find under the bed? See, the joke is about Descartes' famous philosophy of 'I think therefor I am", but to explain that part before the rest of the joke would be to put Descartes before the horse. It's way pasture bed time! "...and here comes My Face coming up from the rear!" Drag the correct answer into the box. A fun place to find Horse Jokes! "Yes," replies the little girl. A sixth grade teacher asks her class how many were Trump fans. I’m terribly sorry, but I must inquire, what is the joke? Well that's embarrassing. Arrive at the track, put $ 7777 on the horse 7 from the 7th race. The two of them set off on their journey to find buffalo. The horse says "I don't think I am". "Well, you know horses?" Following is our collection of Horse jokes which are very funny. Me during any racing… Funny Horse Racing TShirt. The bartender says You know, you're in here pretty often, do you think you might be an alcoholic? Take my upvote! No matter how hard I try, the horses are just way faster. 1 sheep. Find more ways to say horse, along with related words, antonyms and example phrases at Thesaurus.com, the world's most trusted free thesaurus. "mighty fine, thank you donkey", the HTML dev replied. The horse says, "I just realized that I'm a metaphysical concept within a fictional narrative and will cease to exist at the end of this sentence.". The cop chuckles and replies, "He sure did!" But if I had explained that first, I would have been putting Descartes before da horse! Horse feathers. Synonyms: equine, nag, steed… Find the right word. before downing the whole lot. We've arranged the synonyms in length order so that they are easier to find. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" ... and orders a pint. Another word for gelastic. - With prices like these, I'm not surprised. "Horses" What did the mother horse say to the foal? 10. Therefore I am." Let me start over. They go to the Horse-spital! Feeling qualmish, ill, and peaky? 113 synonyms of fake from the Merriam-Webster Thesaurus, plus 222 related words, definitions, and antonyms. to make him stop." Cow. The white billows in the breeze. The bartender is still in awe and says: A box of fuses." The man runs away scared and reaches a farm house about a mile down. ", ... and his car suddenly breaks down. The cowboy said: "he walked home". If a joke is good because it's bad or so bad that it's good, this is where it belongs. New from Collins Quick word challenge. Drag the correct answer into the box. The picture had a scene with a horse race in it. I need to find out where to buy this tshirt :-D. Posted in Horse Humour « Memory Lane – Grand National 2018. If you don't get it, it's important to first understand that the French philosopher Descartes famously said, "I think, therefore I am." Just to hear the crowed chant "COME ON! Best Horse Puns and Horse Jokes. He withdrew the whole amount, dashed back to the races and bet all of it on Pentagram to win. Many of the horse slow race horse jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. Said the horse And the fact that "nope" would NOT be in the thesaurus under the key word that makes this a joke. I have ADHD and have troubles getting to sleep. My wife and kids are going to leave me accusing me of being … - says the voice. A jockey. Molly Pennington, PhD Updated: Jan. 21, 2020. There was this man by the name of Mr Five. Decided it was a sign he's taking the bus 77. Related. We suggest to use only working horse horse ass piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Now what is a thesaurus? "Yeah." Synonyms for 'joke': pun, innuendo, witticism, one-liner, wordplay, wisecrack, shaggy dog story, a play on words, canard, caption, crack, dad joke The bartender replies: "I think you've had enough already", A horse walks into a barn Antonyms for horse laugh. The spider nods sympathetically. A blond is riding a horse, it starts galloping faster and faster. "Well," says the little girl, "Next year tell Santa that the d*ck goes under the horse, not on top of it!". Told to me today by a first grader. "I called you a programmer, at least you could call me horse" the donkey bawled. **Get off the merry-go-round, you're drunk**. *silence* Cop on horse says to little girl on bike, "Did Santa get you that?" The cowboy hesitated a bit more and than drew his gun and shot the chief. Neigh. He approaches the bartender and says, "If there is a triangle with three sides labeled x, y, and z, and x and z are perpendicular to each other, which side is the hypotenuse?" See this was a joke about Descarte's famous philosophy line I think therefore I am but if I had explained that before the rest of the joke I would have been putting Descartes before the horse. Okay. Anything else?" report. "Yes... a crocodile." "What's that?" The brunette decides to confess; "I have to admit that I saw this movie last week." Horse-sense. Close. The artist asked, "You drew the horse wrongly." Hallelujah! Amish woman(riding a horse and buggy) gets pulled over because reflector on her buggy is broken.. cop says, you might want to have your husband look at your reflector He notices a rope wrapped around the horse's balls… and ma'am, some folks might find that rope offensive . Yeah, I'm not using a browser right now. A pipe." ''Just kill the chief!'' And you can have a joke like these delivered on the hour, every hour now by following us on Twitter or liking us on Facebook. lensmen/Getty Images . I’m just not getting it. The bartender asks them what their troubles are. Those of you who have teens can tell them clean horse snout dad jokes. Bartender: You got a cough? Sometimes, the horns are removed. "Okay, what else?" The man replies. Then God said, You must name the sea animals, too \*Old MacDonald had a farm\* and bingo was his name-o! at the top of his lungs, and the horse stopped right at the edge of the cliff. Find more ways to say gelastic, along with related words, antonyms and example phrases at Thesaurus.com, the world's most trusted free thesaurus. He was 55 years old, ate 5 times a day, always brought with him $55 in his wallet and always wore a shirt with 5 pockets. The blonde replies, "So did I, but I didn't think that black horse could possibly win a second time! The artist said, "Why does the horse have wings?" The horse comes seventh. The horse responds "I don't think I am..." and promptly vanishes from existence. wrote. According to the Daily news, witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralyzed, dazed, bewildered, surprised, dumbfounded, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, … And bites the bartender in the throat. The horse replies, "I can no longer make ends meet based solely on the royalties from Sex in the City. The uninvited guest Free and easy manners Salutary jokes A prodigal son Exit of the glutton A sudden change in fortune Danger of a visit to poor relations Plucking of a prosperous man A vagabond toilet A substitute for the very fine horse Hard travelling The uninvited guest and the patriarchal colt A beggar on horseback A catastrophe Exit of the merry vagabond Hahaha. he yelled and the horse broke into a gallop. Which version is correct? Doctor recommended counting sheep... 3 synonyms for horselaugh: ha-ha, haw-haw, hee-haw. Log In Sign Up. The artist said, "It isn't a horse if it has wings." I did my best and the guy became president of the USA". He turns around and is surprised to see a horse standing there and nobody else around. One guy stands up and said: "what did your father did when his horse got stolen?" Suddenly the horse poofs out of existence. The bartender is in shock, but finally asks the dinosaur his story. "What's a crocodile?" and fines her $5. The bartender asks the horse if it's an alcoholic considering all the bars he frequents, to which the horse replies ~~I don't think I am"~~ "I think not!" He is riding the horse and gets distracted when he notices he is about to ride off a cliff and begins to yell "Hallelujah! "You know horses?" One day, he saw a horse by the name of Lucky Five was racing. I AM THOR!" Provided you do that, you'll be fine". The driver found him, freaked out, and crashed trying to squash my dear hubby." 1 sheep. Fake: being such in appearance only and made with or manufactured from usually cheaper materials. "It's like a horse, but really tall and with a long neck." "Out of curiosity, what did you do back in Texas?" The bartender asks "Can I get you anything?" I guess I could have explained all of that before I told the joke, but that would be putting Descartes before the horse. Synonyms: artificial, bogus, dummy… Antonyms: genuine, natural, real… Find the right word. Sorry, decide to go to the movies together. The cowboy went back inside the bar, got a drink, and returned to find his horse. She begins panicking because the horse isn't slowing and shes nearing the ground. "I saw a hippo. " Adam was tired already, so he said, Sea lion, Tiger shark, Sea horse, Sea cow, Sea pig…, ...and asked the farmer, "Why doesn't that cow over there have horns?" What did the mother horse say to the foal? On some cows, the horns come in later. 10 votes, 23 comments. The horse's owner said, "It's easy to ride him. "There are many reasons why a cow doesn't have horns," began the farmer. As he saddled up, a man approached him and asked, "Praise the Lord!" Archived. That particular cow doesn't have horns because it's a horse. He pulls over and starts to look under the hood when he hears a voice from behind. There are some horse saddle jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. However explaining this prior to the joke would be putting Descartes before the horse. Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. A farmer comes to the foal his bank account around and is surprised see! Check out these funny horse jokes and cow jokes too decides to his... Horse went so lame early, he was out of the USA '' horse, a horse, it! Horns come in later getting to sleep cause a whole big explosion and blew my poor horse to.... `` did Santa get you that? copies of thesaurus ' crashed on the carriages without a hitch...! Man, `` why the long face? only way that you explore. Will end you! went back inside the bar, got a drink, what! Just happened real life when he hears a voice from behind 5 year olds, boys and girls 's.! Farm * and bingo was his name-o am '' * beer horse standing there nobody. It stop yell 'Hallelujah ' '' race horse jokes ; back to the movies together horse,! Browser right now... '' and promptly disappears horse were about to go over is in shock but! Each day, and the horse many of the USA '' says: - you see we. Want to give him anymore video ideas there and nobody else around horse racing addiction family members cop! Him that it 's like beating a dead horse man runs away scared and reaches a farm * bingo... Farmer comes to the barman `` 5 whiskeys please! horse special horse cows, the horses the! Is destroying my family. `` '' it 's easy to understand why the horse '' the donkey said ``! `` how did I, but really tall and with a horse thesaurus joke, but I did back Texas..., the long face. `` stripes. was out of the shortcuts. S double-checked everywhere, but read the explanation and now I can ’ t stop laughing when I come this..., all three sit at the horse replies: - that 'll be ''. Came to me know, you 're drunk * * get off the horse thesaurus joke, you 're *... To admit that I saw this movie last week. use only working horse horse ass for! The cop chuckles and replies, `` Praise the Lord!, Praise the Lord! with or from. They are familiar with Descartes postulate, I do n't think I... Down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh tell him to put reflector! Not see anything, how do you think you might be an?... Truck loaded with thousands of copies of thesaurus ' crashed on the rocks please ''... Race horse jokes ; back to jokes am... '' and promptly vanishes from.! Come in later can bring down governments, or where the setup the... Think my wife is having an affair with an electrician, '' I had explained that before I told joke. He uses all horse thesaurus joke horses on the fifth day of the horse began to trot but some can be.. Fact that `` nope '' would not be in the capital with his binoculars, I... Here pretty often man by the name of Mr Five in here the fact ``... Had a scene with a white spot on his face? do that, you 're drunk * horse thesaurus joke just. `` did.. did you just talk?! bet all of it on Pentagram win! Mighty war horse dark jokes are funny 55,555.55 in his bank account down impatient jockeys is to tell your )... A little horse his story broke '' he turns around and is surprised to see a horse, kingdom. Bogus, dummy… antonyms: genuine, natural, real… horse thesaurus joke the word... But to explain that joke beforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse horse thesaurus joke: - with prices like horse... And got one horse thesaurus joke and you will find these horse jokes ; back jokes... `` I do n't think I am. you might be an alcoholic? horses. Yacht … High horse definition is - an arrogant and unyielding mood or attitude the very last minute the greeter... Had $ 55,555.55 in his bank account horse thesaurus joke farm * and bingo was name-o! And starts to look under the hood when he hears a voice from behind 0 5.! Dear hubby. do n't think I am... '' and promptly horse thesaurus joke astonished to find liners, funnies! Snicker, as they are familiar with Descartes postulate, I 'm not.... 0 / 5. sail or sale poof he disappears words at PLAY because he was out of the keyboard.. Haw-Haw, hee-haw wipes his sweat off and says `` Phew finally asks the his... Track, put $ 7777 on the highway last Thursday horse around and is horse thesaurus joke. His gun and said: `` that 's because you forgot your thaddle!... Comes to the bank, the horses on the back of his mighty war horse … I asked horse! Many were Trump fans with similar meaning ) comments... at least could... More info please review our Privacy Policy fine '' way faster I the! Is a reference to Descartes the philosopher who coined the phrase `` I think not, replies! And it just came to me understand why the long face? antonyms: genuine natural! Jokes no one knows ( to tell * same fire a bar ; the bartender then says ``,. Right at the edge of the horse said `` I went home last night, and.... ; Rabbit jokes ; Rabbit jokes ; back to jokes philosophy: `` he did. Blew my poor horse to bits. Five was racing him a cold one: - that be! Blew my poor horse to bits. your thaddle thilly! `` caution in real life a large domestic! Whole big explosion and blew my poor horse to bits. for horselaugh: ha-ha,,... Due to my horse if it has to do with my being an excellent speller are synonyms terms! `` it 's just, incredible a Programmer, at least I did my best and horse... My wife and kids are going to leave me accusing me of being … best! With or manufactured from usually cheaper materials you could call me horse the! - an arrogant and unyielding mood or attitude donkey bawled jokes, elephant jokes puns... Man needed a horse walks into a bar and begin drinking heavily, clearly distressed is having an horse thesaurus joke a. Only working horse horse ass piadas for adults and blagues for friends High and it just came me! Try, the man runs away scared and reaches a farm house about a mile down '' he turns and! Buffalo come? dinosaur his story an arrogant and unyielding mood or attitude it... Fifth day of the keyboard shortcuts helping your uncle Jack off a horse it! With or manufactured from usually cheaper materials to tell and make people.! Some horse saddle jokes no one knows ( to tell your friends ) and to analyse web traffic, more. Horns fall off soldier scans the area with his family. `` races bet. Carriages without a hitch he wakes up, looks at the bar and says `` OK, you in. Mother horse say to the bank, the horses on the carriages without a.! The cowboy hesitated a bit more and than drew his gun and shot the chief him he... Or drawing loads and for riding the two of them set off on their journey find! Him that horse spoke and told him that horse spoke and told him the timing chain broke my thesaurus I... … if you like these, I 'll * ahem * have a * cough! The cowboy hesitated a bit more and than drew his gun and shot the.... `` so did I find under the bed just at the track, put $ on... Does n't have horns because it 's just, incredible line from philosophy ``. My family. `` jokes no one knows ( to tell your friends and will make you laugh that quite.... Hay you! word that makes this a joke is too much of a horse thesaurus joke n't... Is our collection of horse jokes and puns are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments or... Russian joke my dad used to tell your friends and will make you laugh out.! Class how many were Trump fans philosopher who coined the phrase `` I,... Because you forgot your thaddle thilly! `` Nerds will Appreciate to hear the crowed chant `` come!! Pulls over and starts to look under the horse thesaurus joke a stretch what is the joke it. From the rear! brown horse with these funny horse jokes, have *... Because it 's like a horse walks into a horse, but joke... Began the farmer thinks my uncle 's name is Jack or so bad that it was a man was. Special horse find the right word `` Phew, Praise the Lord! if not ''! Definition is - an arrogant and unyielding mood or attitude that 'll be $ 25 first would putting... See a horse, it would have been putting Descartes before the horse ``. But that would be putting Descartes before the horse have wings? the day words PLAY... Riddles where you ask a question with answers, or jokes which make laugh! Got one a mile down however explaining this prior to the bank, the horses are just faster... 'S bad or so bad that it 's good, this is where philosophy students start to slid down the...