10 Some of your first tweets should be interactions with other tweets. I don't think this one is that bad since it's not exclusive yet. A guy is knocked unconscious and it's the worst thing for you. Before date he already online commented about his height (he was short) and my height (I was taller-it didn't bother me) saying we would look perfect on our wedding picture. In honor of the social platform's anniversary, Twitter users started unearthing their first messages, using the hashtag #firsttweet. Flannel PJs and a heavy down comforter kept my teeth from chattering too loudly. ... Dude you GOTTA watch this show. So Cofefe your way through the day with these amazing funny tweets. 11 Tell someone thank you. How to Delete a Retweet on Twitter. Twitter is the open mic at The Improv of the Internet, so unless you're a funny person who wants to be heckled, you might want to make your first tweet chuckle-worthy. Jul 26 2010 Reply Favorite Retweet @ adamisacson Temperatures last night dropped into the high 80s. After working at some art, movie and theater projects, she fell in love with visual storytelling.Viktorija loves surfing the internet and searching for the most interesting pictures and ideas. Ooops! -- Bonnie McFarlane (@bonniemcfarlane) September 14, 2011. It was quite a struggle overcoming my phobia of the @ symbol. https://www.buzzfeed.com/kristinharris/hilarious-celebrity-first-tweets Embarrassed because he didn't realize it was you or embarrassed because it is you? Yeah, but was she real?? The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Once you've read these hilariously funny tweets, you'll probably want to stay home with your cat. Hmmm.... HAHAHA this guy, and the dude that "burned his penis as a child on a radiator" need to meet each other and be friends. more random tweets. Remember, if a profile owner has deleted his first tweet, then that profile’s oldest tweet will be shown as the first tweet. What is the worst in this story, the frogs or the wife!? Discussion threads can be closed at any time at our discretion. But hey, it's not so bad when you have a good sense of humor. ... thanks, -- braden graeber (@hipstermermaid) February 9, 2011. Leave a Like if you enjoyed! Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. While many first tweets centered on dull daily details or confusion about what Twitter even does, Jedi Master tweeters treated their first 140-character messages like a night at the comedy club. Please use high-res photos without watermarks. They Tweet, you reply. It sounds like he's autistic. Some people deserve to let their crazy flag fly and let us enjoy their inane mutterings. Yes, you might have had some first date tips turned sour, but nothing as atrocious as some of these first date conversations. I think that nowadays no one uses letters to comunicate...she was what, checking you bank account? Right here, right now, is the time for us all to come together and celebrate some incredibly funny tweets. READING FUNNIEST TWEETS! 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Tom DeLay, you sir, are no Patrick Swayze. wait... sheep can be really interresting.. no? So next time you have a bad one, spare a thought for these poor people who are really in need of the best dating advice - it's a long and rocky road until you find someone just as weird as you are. — Kara Swisher (@karaswisher) May 4, 2007. Jan 8, 2021 - Explore Cheezburger's board "Funny Tweets", followed by 1710105 people on Pinterest. Let's keep in touch and we'll send more your way. Either way, these were the 25 funniest tweets we saw this week. Yeah, we confess; we fell down the first-tweets rabbit hole fast. "Molly is unbelievably gifted at nailing these relatable little moments of life. There is only one rule, it should be funny, you can submit your own tweet or one you think is funny. Well, it's better for us, at least. Please enter your email to complete registration. To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. A few of these are a little too fitting. Like us on Facebook to get a daily dose of Funny Tweeter on your news feed. Jack Dorsey. At its core, Twitter is really the world's greatest delivery device for short, absurd fart jokes. 24 Of The Most Inappropriately Hilarious Pictures You’ll See All Day. To celebrate this fact, we created a definitive list† of the 100 funniest jokes ever tweeted. © 2021 CNET, A RED VENTURES COMPANY. So, he's got that in common with Kerouac. Him: "you're such a good kisser" Her: "So are you, maybe we're related!". We delete comments that violate our policy, which we encourage you to read. I understand him, he was late right, so he was trying to reward her with fast food and fast sex. Advanced search helps you sift through all tweets based on words or phrases used, people who created the tweet, were tweeted to, or were only mentioned in the tweet, and even tweets tagged near certain locations. New top tweets added daily. Follow @fun_tweets for updates. Twitter. Rand Fishkin’s first tweet was about writing a presentation for SMX (snooze), but props for working a Goonies reference into the second: Geraldine & I are in Astoria - following the Goonies trail & skipping Gnomedex. Error occurred when generating embed. I an actual ankle weight would have been just as bad. My worst never actually got as far as the first date. I hope the 17 fans on my Geocities page follow me here. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. However, most of the greatest ideas were born from real life situations. You can change your preferences. 5 of 58. Submit Tweet Like us on Facebook. Entertainment Culture & Arts Media Celebrity TV & Film. Twitter is the open mic at The Improv of the Internet, so unless you're a funny person who wants to be heckled, you might want to make your first tweet chuckle-worthy. He talked about how he was going to kill her. Follow @fun_tweets for updates. What's a funny tweet you've seen on Twitter? Somebody help me. To celebrate turning 8, Twitter on Thursday opened its archive, making it easy to look up anyone's first tweets. Well, no matter how disastrous it was, it probably won't seem so bad once you've read this list of the best tweets on the worst first date questions compiled by Bored Panda. :), You should look at the signs, specially the "GAY BAR" one. … The Truth About Intimacy And HS, From Someone Who Has Had It For 23 Years. Hey Pandas, Show Us Your Cool Grandparents/Great-Grandparents, Women Are Trolling Capitol Rioters By Matching With Them On Dating Apps Just To Send Their Info To The FBI. After all, did you have somebody sneeze in your mouth while trying to kiss them goodnight? -- Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) May 1, 2010. 2. You could have joined her in the duets. With all this nastiness in Washington, we thought it might be nice to switch gears and focus on some nastiness in Hollywood. Your account is not active. Blind date. -- John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) April 19, 2009. Funny one-liners. What's so bad about that? 2 of 58. Today I interviewed a squirrel in my backyard and then threw to commercial. Twitter has come a long way in its eight years. Good to finally be on twitter. 4 of 58. -- John Hodgman (@hodgman) April 10, 2008, -- Joe Mande (@JoeMande) October 16, 2009. is very grateful to be on twitter, as facebook has become way too academic. Hey, there's a pretty cool one in Memphis- oh who am I kidding, it's bass pro, no matter what building its in. In the beginning, the blue rectangle was formless and empty. Politics Congress Donald Trump 2020 Elections Tracker Extremism. Let’s face it: sometimes, it can be a challenge to keep your Twitter account exciting and fun. So… Before you head off to find out if it’s actually even possible to enjoy eggnog after the first 3 or 4 sips, you should have a look at some of the funniest holiday tweets that have ever graced the Internet. Here are some ideas of funny things to tweet when you’re out of ideas. If you are a psychic, and you don't end a relationship by saying "I just don't see a future with you" you are just wasting everybody's time! The easiest and the most straightforward way to finding your first tweet is to use Twitter’s Advanced search. ... Well, no matter how disastrous it was, it probably won't seem so bad once you've read this list of the best tweets on the worst first date questions compiled by Bored Panda. Out of my mind. She still does this! Being a mother requires a lot of patience. Good he was a serial dater, not a serial killer! 81 Hilarious First-Date Disasters That Will Make You Laugh . Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. Funny 4 years ago. And every week we narrow it down to our 25 favorite funny tweets that popped up in our feeds.. Now, they might be from this week or they may have been retweets of some very funny tweets from long ago.. 43 percent of statistics are made up. Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets. Enjoy. Tweet a video. The first 5 seasons are fucking terrible and every episode is 9 hours long but season 7 is decent and season 12 literally made me laugh. So, we decided to look back at some our favorite executives, companies, and powerful people and see how they ushered in this seemingly strange new communication platform. Let us know in the comments. After we met he kept talking about heights his parents how short they were etc and later when after dinner he dropped me home I gave him kiss on cheek goodnight and left he texted me that I'm a teasing whore and I should never say anything about his height (I never did), Bored Panda works best if you switch to our Android app. A retweet is a repost of a Twitter user’s tweet. And it's even better when you bring your sense of humor to Twitter! U.S. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. 2.) 3 of 58. But at least you get to share in the adventure with a sample of our favorites funnies. As soon as I agreed to one, he grabbed my tits (at 4:30 p.m. on a busy road, outside my home) while telling me he used to date a girl who had the flat above mine and he liked living so close to his work. Yeesh, Ape-lad. Pandas, What’s A Bad Habit You Are Trying To Break? Coronavirus. Just think - all those redecorated walls, fusses over random stuff, food all over the ground, basically, kids just leave a mess wherever they go! We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. Activate your account t be public send your password shortly you might have some. You or embarrassed because it is you be a challenge to keep your Twitter account exciting and fun from. 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